So, lot's to talk about since my last post. My body rejected the IVC Filter and I had to go back to Tampa General Hospital and have it removed through my jugular only 6 days after having it put in. I was in excruciating pain. It felt like someone was stabbing me in my kidneys and dragging knives through my back and abdomen. I could barely stand or walk on day 5 after the implant. This may be an overshare, a lot on this blog probably will be, but I was also having terrible diarrhea for 48 hours and it was not related to anything I had eaten. I have an extremely high tolerance for pain so I was masking it for awhile and trying not to make a big deal out of it. The next morning I got up and it was so bad I told Kevin and he basically made me call the hospital.
So I call TGH and tell her my symptoms and she said for me to come down immediately and have it removed. I began crying hysterically. Are you kidding me? That's literally what I said to the nurse on the phone. I JUST had this thing put in, I'm supposed to be healed after 5 days, and this is day 6. It was still early in the morning and I hadn't eaten anything so it was now, or live like this until that evening or the next morning. There was NO way I could wait an entire day like that. This was an emergency room situation. And when it comes to health related matters I tend to just push through it until it goes away. This is how I almost killed myself with an untreated bleeding ulcer, but that's a story for another day.
Kevin took the afternoon off work and we went straight to the hospital and had it taken out. The removal was much more painful than the insert. The pain was MUCH more tolerable than what I was dealing with from my body rejecting the implant. My amazing surgeon Dr. Anthony Moreno called to check up on me and talk to me about it. He said he thinks because I am so small, thin, and athletic, that it was probably pushing on a nerve and my body couldn't tolerate it. It's been a week now and I'm finally feeling 90% better. Tomorrow, my workout routine resumes!
I am most disappointed that I lost two weeks of exercising in preparation for my surgery. I want to be Sarah Jessica Parker ripped before I go into this and I'm proud to say that I am well on my way. I have been working out 5 days a week at least an hour and a half to two hours. An hour of Pilates/Yoga and major core strengthening exercises (modified of course for my scoliosis, see previous posts or my twitter) and at least 45 minutes of strength training/weight lifting. 5 pound weights only; I do have a severe back problem.
So it's literally three weeks from today until what I am calling "slice and dice time." Tact has never been my forte. Some may be offended by this terminology, but it's my surgery and if making jokes helps me cope then you'll have to deal. I would say I am about 75% ready. And I think that's as ready as I am ever going to be. I have been seeing my counselor every other week and I am kicking it up to once a week until the surgery. If you are going to have a major back surgery and have insurance and/or the opportunity to see a mental health counselor/therapist before your operation I highly recommend it. Dr. Moreno said it was a good idea as well. She has really been helping me calm down, not stress about things I can not control, not over thinking possible negative outcomes or complications, and also cope with the work and personal stress I'm dealing with on top of it.
In hindsight, for people in 2011 going forward if you have a severe scoliotic curvature and they recommend surgery for you in high school...do it. Obviously again I am not any type of doctor, therapist, or authority or giving medical advice to others. These are all my opinions based on personal experience. And personally, doing this as a teenage with far less responsibilities (no offense) would be so much less stressful.
I keep worrying about missing work, missing work, Kevin's work, Dominic, my friends and family taking time off of work and the burden I am going to be putting on them. What is my boss going to do without me (have a complete meltdown) and I'm thinking maybe I should postpone. Maybe I should wait a couple weeks, months, etc. STOP! Really...when is it ever a good time to have a major life altering surgery? Open heart triple bypass, brain surgery, tumor removal, 8-12 hour spinal reconstruction...the answer is NEVER! Who is ever fully prepared for something like this? No one.
I would be a fool if I wasn't nervous, scared, a little sick at times, petrified, stressed to the max, thinking of all the complications and things that could possibly go wrong. I am also very excited for the outcome. I know it is going to be a long road of recovery but again, I have a VERY high tolerance for pain and honestly I am not at all afraid or worried about the pain. Complications, loss of bladder/bowel control, having a stroke during surgery, neurological damage, losing feeling in my legs, my body rejecting the bone marrow from the cadaver or the metal. Those are my worries. And they just go on and on.
So what is the answer? Like Nike says, "Just Do It!" Like ripping off a band-aid or pulling a tooth. When I was a little girl and would get a loose tooth, I would wrap a napkin and just yank it out. The quicker the better. That's where I'm at now with my back surgery. I have been waiting for 12 years to find Dr. Moreno and I can not let this opportunity pass me by. Even now I am in unbelievable pain, wearing my tens unit, ice pack on lower back, heating pad on upper and situated just so on the bed so that the pain is as minimal as possible. I can't sit or stand for longer than 20 minutes. I can't wear a purse when I go shopping because it pinches a nerve in my hip and I can't walk. I can't shop over 45 minutes without having to take breaks and crouch down on the ground and bend over and kind of touch my toes but relax to stretch it all out and release the tension. When we go to theme parks, I have to crouch every time we stop while standing in a long line for a ride because my back pain from just STANDING is so excruciating. It's honestly humiliating. I always wonder what people think. They look at my strange and I don't think they know what to think. It makes me almost cry now from the frustration. The time to fix this is now.
There will never be an opportune time to have a major operation that will have me prisoner in my bed for months. With my career, Kevin's, Dominic, maintaining the house, family stuff, holidays, friend's and family's birthdays/graduations/weddings, tires blowing or OOPS needing a new starter, we will always have major stresses in our lives and something going on that could be a reason to postpone. I will not allow myself to make any more excuses.
I am ready to begin my road to recovery. I'm ready to have even shoulders, hips, quit padding one cup of my bra with $50 Victoria Secret inserts (that's what I meant about the over-sharing), altering my clothes for my deformity, grow 3 inches, sleep without pillows arranged around my body to prevent my hip from popping out of place, not being able to hug my boyfriend or his son or pick up my friends small children. I can't reach into my lower cupboards; I have to squat. I have to lift one leg up when bending over from standing straight if I drop something on the ground to pick it back up. I could sit here and come up with loads of reasons to postpone the surgery, but my body is screaming to do it now. I am ready for the new improved, practically non-Scoliotic Amanda. And I am only 20 days away! Wow!
Always With Karma,
Amanda
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Getting through it
Today is a tough day, but not as much so as I thought it would be. That gives me a lot of hope. I had an IVC Filter put in today. It's an Inferior Vena Cava Filter. It prevents anti-coagulation and blood clots. The procedure was fairly minor and only took about a half an hour. The timeline and sedation was similar to an endoscopy or colonoscopy, except really painful afterward.
I have 36 days until surgery, and I am scared. I am also relieved and excited to get it fixed and begin healing. I am hoping I will be among the 80% of reconstructive/fusion patients that experience significant relief of pain. The surgeon said I am at a higher risk for blood clots and so the device is necessary, and anything that will help aid my recovery and rehab is a go! My family is amazing. My Dad, brothers (one drove me), Aunt, Cousin, and Grandfather all came and waited with me before I went in. Kevin, being the amazing and wonderfully supportive boyfriend he is, surprised me and showed up at the hospital in the recovery room. I have no words to describe what a fantastic surprise or how comforting it was to wake up with him there. It only reaffirms for me how lucky I am to have a true and loving partner and soul mate, and a healthy almost 9 year old "not step son," a close supportive family and friends, and a great physical therapist and support groups.
Long story short (if you haven't noticed I tend to ramble) they went through my veins with some wires and catheters and implanted this filtration device into my renal gland. Luckily I was under the twilight sedation, otherwise I would have fainted and became hysterical. I don't deal well with medical, hospital, dental anything. At all. Total wimp when it comes to needles, wounds, etc. I'm pretty sore. I would say the pain is moderate. Like a 6 1/2. My entire hip and upper thigh area is a giant green bruise larger than my head, and it's spread up onto the lower part of my stomach near my groin. I can't remove the bandage until tomorrow, but I can only imagine how bruised it'll be. I have low iron anemia and it makes me bruise really easily.
Tampa General Hospital was beautiful as always. I was there probably about 6 hours. My groin area is killing me though. I am laying in bed resting tonight in hopes of returning to work first thing in the morning. Between working long hours, taking calls during the evening and on weekends, our personal stuff, my medical stuff, and Kevin's new job. Oh! Not to mention sharing a vehicle has been making things hectic. I have practically no time for myself. What little time I do have I have been working my behind off working out at least 5-7 times a week 1 hour to 1 hour 1/2 at a time. It has been really helping me find my center, relax, focus, maybe do a little meditating. Everyone needs some me time. Kevin goes to the gym and I work out at the house. I think the fact that I keep my mat and weights and exercise cards in the bedroom in obvious sight helps energize myself to work out.
I want to be in the best physical shape possible before I go into this surgery. From what I was told by the woman I met in physical therapy who is 3 months post-op it will make my pain greater in the beginning because it's harder to tear the muscles. In the long run it will make my rehabilitation easier if I am in better shape. I have really been working hard on my thighs, quads and leg muscles. My physical therapist and new PT friend both told me that most of my strength post-op will be coming from my legs so I really took that to heart. I have been doing serious pilates/yoga/core strengthening exercises and some weight lifting for the last couple months minimum four days a week. I do about 200-250 modified Pilates ab exercises. I want to be ripped when I go into this thing. It's almost become an obsession, but in reality is also a distraction.
I can't lift, bend, or exercise for 48 hours which really aggravates me. It's only a couple days though. Overall, today's minor operation was just a very small acclimating preview of my major surgery that is to take place there in what has become a very short 36 days. I feel a little less worried after today. I am exhausted and probably not even making sense after my anesthesia earlier lol.
Final thought for the evening "The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith." ~ F.D.R.
Always with Karma,
Amanda
I have 36 days until surgery, and I am scared. I am also relieved and excited to get it fixed and begin healing. I am hoping I will be among the 80% of reconstructive/fusion patients that experience significant relief of pain. The surgeon said I am at a higher risk for blood clots and so the device is necessary, and anything that will help aid my recovery and rehab is a go! My family is amazing. My Dad, brothers (one drove me), Aunt, Cousin, and Grandfather all came and waited with me before I went in. Kevin, being the amazing and wonderfully supportive boyfriend he is, surprised me and showed up at the hospital in the recovery room. I have no words to describe what a fantastic surprise or how comforting it was to wake up with him there. It only reaffirms for me how lucky I am to have a true and loving partner and soul mate, and a healthy almost 9 year old "not step son," a close supportive family and friends, and a great physical therapist and support groups.
Long story short (if you haven't noticed I tend to ramble) they went through my veins with some wires and catheters and implanted this filtration device into my renal gland. Luckily I was under the twilight sedation, otherwise I would have fainted and became hysterical. I don't deal well with medical, hospital, dental anything. At all. Total wimp when it comes to needles, wounds, etc. I'm pretty sore. I would say the pain is moderate. Like a 6 1/2. My entire hip and upper thigh area is a giant green bruise larger than my head, and it's spread up onto the lower part of my stomach near my groin. I can't remove the bandage until tomorrow, but I can only imagine how bruised it'll be. I have low iron anemia and it makes me bruise really easily.
Tampa General Hospital was beautiful as always. I was there probably about 6 hours. My groin area is killing me though. I am laying in bed resting tonight in hopes of returning to work first thing in the morning. Between working long hours, taking calls during the evening and on weekends, our personal stuff, my medical stuff, and Kevin's new job. Oh! Not to mention sharing a vehicle has been making things hectic. I have practically no time for myself. What little time I do have I have been working my behind off working out at least 5-7 times a week 1 hour to 1 hour 1/2 at a time. It has been really helping me find my center, relax, focus, maybe do a little meditating. Everyone needs some me time. Kevin goes to the gym and I work out at the house. I think the fact that I keep my mat and weights and exercise cards in the bedroom in obvious sight helps energize myself to work out.
I want to be in the best physical shape possible before I go into this surgery. From what I was told by the woman I met in physical therapy who is 3 months post-op it will make my pain greater in the beginning because it's harder to tear the muscles. In the long run it will make my rehabilitation easier if I am in better shape. I have really been working hard on my thighs, quads and leg muscles. My physical therapist and new PT friend both told me that most of my strength post-op will be coming from my legs so I really took that to heart. I have been doing serious pilates/yoga/core strengthening exercises and some weight lifting for the last couple months minimum four days a week. I do about 200-250 modified Pilates ab exercises. I want to be ripped when I go into this thing. It's almost become an obsession, but in reality is also a distraction.
I can't lift, bend, or exercise for 48 hours which really aggravates me. It's only a couple days though. Overall, today's minor operation was just a very small acclimating preview of my major surgery that is to take place there in what has become a very short 36 days. I feel a little less worried after today. I am exhausted and probably not even making sense after my anesthesia earlier lol.
Final thought for the evening "The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith." ~ F.D.R.
Always with Karma,
Amanda
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Pilates for Scoliosis is life changing
Currently, there is a lot of information out there about Pilates for Scoliosis. Through my personal experience, MODIFIED Pilates for Scoliosis is life changing. My physical therapist in Tennessee introduced me to many different exercises for my Scoliosis to help manage the pain and discomfort that come along with it. After the first couple sessions I wised up and realized that I was doing quite a few pilates exercises in physical therapy. So I started doing research. Research is kind of my thing, I'm a nerd like that. So after what probably equated to days of reading about pilates and pilates for Scoliosis, I decided to start a full on personalized workout for my unique situation.
Keep in mind, there are many different degrees and types of Scoliosis. For minor curvatures, under 30/35 degrees, you can probably run around and do a majority of exercises normally without any major discomfort. Discontinue any running or jogging immediately. I am obviously not presuming to be a doctor or medical professional and giving out medical advice of any kind. These are my personal opinions based on my experiences over the last twelve years and recommendations to me from my many surgeons. Running and jogging are high impact exercises. They wear on your joints and bones terribly. This is bad enough for a personal with a healthy spine; with an unstable Scoliotic spine it's dangerous.
If you have advanced Scoliosis, like I do, or a double major curve, again like I do, then your joints and facets are probably already unstable if not non-existent and worn away. I have a double major curve. My thoracic spine (upper) has a curvature of about 55 degrees. My lumbar spine (lower) has about a 47 degree curve and in the last couple years has begun rotating inward. Almost all of my discs are degenerating. My entire lumbar spine and the top of my spinal cord discs are bulging. Good times! So I have significant, crippling pain, and modified pilates has changed my life. I have to share this with others.
The main goal of a pilates workout for Scoliosis is to strengthen your core muscles to take the weight of the rest of your body off of your spine and decrease the stress on your spine. You also gain greater control of the muscles in your trunk area which helps everything. In the past 5 years my body has changed completely from doing very basic and simple modified pilates exercises.
Don't get me wrong. I have very significant back pain almost every day. I am currently typing this on my laptop lying in bed with a stack of 5 pillows behind me, a tens unit on, an ice pack on my lower back and a heating pad on my upper. I have to force myself sometimes to get up and just do it! I tell myself to just stretch and do some one leg circles and a couple side kick series...then I do the hundred...the roll ups....the next thing I know I've worked out over an hour! Every time I do, I feel a thousand times better after and almost always have less pain the next day.
Side note-My quotation/apostrophe key has decided to make my life difficult, so if there are a few missing I apologize. I'm not unintelligent, my laptops just being moody. See....just did it there lol!
To start yourself with very simple low impact exercises lying on the ground a few beginners are here on this "About.com" post with photos http://pilates.about.com/od/pilatesmat/tp/BeginnerExercises.htm You can look on that page for other links to more pilates exercises and stretches! Just google lol! If you have bulging discs, like I do, and hard floors (I even do it in my carpeted rooms) try putting a couple towels or a folded quilt underneath your mat so your spine isn't pressing onto the hard floor! I learned that the hard way after two days of debilitating lower back pain. Here is another link from "About.com" for tips on some basic modification and safety to be careful you don't strain or hurt yourself. http://pilates.about.com/od/pilatesforeverybody/tp/Modifications.htm
Resistance band exercises are also fantastic. Stick it folded and pinched in half in a closed door. Pull on it really hard before you start working out to make sure its in there well. If it snaps back on you its quite painful! I prefer to sit on an exercise ball while doing my resistance band exercises, it helps strengthen the core double time! Simple rows, standing twists (preferably sitting twists on an exercise ball for extra core support!), woodchop, reverse fly, pec fly, standing chest press, and tricep and bicep extensions are quick, easy, and can all be done by sticking the band in the door at different height levels. Here is a link with instructions and photos from "TheSportsInjuryClinic.Net" for most of the above exercises. http://www.sportsinjuryclinic.net/rehabilitation-exercises/resistance-band-exercises1 You do not have to put the band as high up as they show in some of the clips. There are exercises under rehabilitation & exercises including exercise bands, pilates, core strengthening, back exercises, etc that are all wonderful for back pain and strengthening.
I met a wonderful young woman at physical therapy today who is 3 months post-op and Dr. Moreno is her surgeon as well. We spoke for a while about her surgery and her recovery so far. She showed me her scar which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and nowhere near what it would've looked like if I had done it 10 years ago. It reaffirmed for me that I want to have this surgery. That's a topic for tomorrow though. 44 days until my surgery. Wow, that seems really close.
Appointment tomorrow to have an ultrasound done on my pelvis and find out what the fluid build up in my hip causing me so much pain is from. I am relieved that everything with my health is getting worked out and in a few months I am going to be a whole new woman.
Thought to close the night...Gary Kelley once said, "There's no better time than the present to be better than we were yesterday."
Always With Karma,
Amanda Marie
Keep in mind, there are many different degrees and types of Scoliosis. For minor curvatures, under 30/35 degrees, you can probably run around and do a majority of exercises normally without any major discomfort. Discontinue any running or jogging immediately. I am obviously not presuming to be a doctor or medical professional and giving out medical advice of any kind. These are my personal opinions based on my experiences over the last twelve years and recommendations to me from my many surgeons. Running and jogging are high impact exercises. They wear on your joints and bones terribly. This is bad enough for a personal with a healthy spine; with an unstable Scoliotic spine it's dangerous.
If you have advanced Scoliosis, like I do, or a double major curve, again like I do, then your joints and facets are probably already unstable if not non-existent and worn away. I have a double major curve. My thoracic spine (upper) has a curvature of about 55 degrees. My lumbar spine (lower) has about a 47 degree curve and in the last couple years has begun rotating inward. Almost all of my discs are degenerating. My entire lumbar spine and the top of my spinal cord discs are bulging. Good times! So I have significant, crippling pain, and modified pilates has changed my life. I have to share this with others.
The main goal of a pilates workout for Scoliosis is to strengthen your core muscles to take the weight of the rest of your body off of your spine and decrease the stress on your spine. You also gain greater control of the muscles in your trunk area which helps everything. In the past 5 years my body has changed completely from doing very basic and simple modified pilates exercises.
Don't get me wrong. I have very significant back pain almost every day. I am currently typing this on my laptop lying in bed with a stack of 5 pillows behind me, a tens unit on, an ice pack on my lower back and a heating pad on my upper. I have to force myself sometimes to get up and just do it! I tell myself to just stretch and do some one leg circles and a couple side kick series...then I do the hundred...the roll ups....the next thing I know I've worked out over an hour! Every time I do, I feel a thousand times better after and almost always have less pain the next day.
Side note-My quotation/apostrophe key has decided to make my life difficult, so if there are a few missing I apologize. I'm not unintelligent, my laptops just being moody. See....just did it there lol!
To start yourself with very simple low impact exercises lying on the ground a few beginners are here on this "About.com" post with photos http://pilates.about.com/od/pilatesmat/tp/BeginnerExercises.htm You can look on that page for other links to more pilates exercises and stretches! Just google lol! If you have bulging discs, like I do, and hard floors (I even do it in my carpeted rooms) try putting a couple towels or a folded quilt underneath your mat so your spine isn't pressing onto the hard floor! I learned that the hard way after two days of debilitating lower back pain. Here is another link from "About.com" for tips on some basic modification and safety to be careful you don't strain or hurt yourself. http://pilates.about.com/od/pilatesforeverybody/tp/Modifications.htm
Resistance band exercises are also fantastic. Stick it folded and pinched in half in a closed door. Pull on it really hard before you start working out to make sure its in there well. If it snaps back on you its quite painful! I prefer to sit on an exercise ball while doing my resistance band exercises, it helps strengthen the core double time! Simple rows, standing twists (preferably sitting twists on an exercise ball for extra core support!), woodchop, reverse fly, pec fly, standing chest press, and tricep and bicep extensions are quick, easy, and can all be done by sticking the band in the door at different height levels. Here is a link with instructions and photos from "TheSportsInjuryClinic.Net" for most of the above exercises. http://www.sportsinjuryclinic.net/rehabilitation-exercises/resistance-band-exercises1 You do not have to put the band as high up as they show in some of the clips. There are exercises under rehabilitation & exercises including exercise bands, pilates, core strengthening, back exercises, etc that are all wonderful for back pain and strengthening.
I met a wonderful young woman at physical therapy today who is 3 months post-op and Dr. Moreno is her surgeon as well. We spoke for a while about her surgery and her recovery so far. She showed me her scar which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and nowhere near what it would've looked like if I had done it 10 years ago. It reaffirmed for me that I want to have this surgery. That's a topic for tomorrow though. 44 days until my surgery. Wow, that seems really close.
Appointment tomorrow to have an ultrasound done on my pelvis and find out what the fluid build up in my hip causing me so much pain is from. I am relieved that everything with my health is getting worked out and in a few months I am going to be a whole new woman.
Thought to close the night...Gary Kelley once said, "There's no better time than the present to be better than we were yesterday."
Always With Karma,
Amanda Marie
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