Even though I am going into week six of basic bed rest all day in our bedroom, which has begun to feel like a prison, I am getting markedly stronger each day. I still get frustrated and may start to cry a little because it is very frustrating and difficult to be in pain all day every day, into the night non stop and barely be able to sleep. For the most part though, 80% of the time people can barely tell I even had surgery. Unless of course I am wearing my brace and using my walker. Or doing my funny hobble walk.
From the evening I woke up out of surgery until today, I am an entirely new woman. We went down to Clearwater Beach today. I could definitely use some sun from having three surgeries in a month, four blood transfusions and one platelet transfusion in a year and a month. We take a walk every day around our neighborhood which is shaped like a horseshoe, but it's gotten boring. We went and walked on the boardwalk running along Gulf Dr, cement for the walker there, and ended up walking a mile over an hour and 15 minutes! It was sunny and 80 but there was a cool gulf breeze that felt amazing.
Yes, we made this walk with my brace and walker. I must admit, I still look fabulous. Other than my Twilight looking skin tone. People were looking, at my brace and walker or maybe my hot boyfriend with his shirt off lol, and one woman even approached us and told us her daughter had to wear a brace in high school. We explained my story briefly and told her I am 5 weeks post-op and she said her family will pray and was very sweet. None of that bothers me in the slightest. Staring, wondering, questioning. I am proud of myself for finally having finished it. Healing and recovering as quickly as I am. Staying positive and only spending energy on things that will bring me success in life, happiness, love, within my circle of friends and family, etc. This life changing surgery has really changed my priorities and the way I look at so many things in this world. Mainly relationships. They are the single most important thing in this world. Other than personal happiness of ones self.
On the plus side the couple times I have gotten out everyone is complementing me on how wonderful I look. "Supermodel" is the word that was used by more than one person lol! I am now 5'5 and around 115 pounds. Okay, I am probably closer to 110 but I was only 5'2 before! The amazing part is that I was petrified of losing all my muscle mass and even more weight, and luckily neither has happened. I have lost one pound and continue to gain more muscle. Most people post-op lose 10-15 pounds. Luckily, I have had to massively overcompensate for the total lack of use of my entire back. My arms, entire stomach, legs, and knees are taking the brunt of all of my weight. I was getting out of the shower a couple days ago and Kevin started poking my stomach and pointed out to me I have a pretty nice six pack. My biceps and shoulders are as nice as my goaled Sarah Jessica Parker (not at her current or creepiest of course, old school Sex and the City Carrie)! Even while laid up in bed and using a grabber to turn on my fan and light lol! It is very hard for me to sit still. I have broken the rules and pushed our small canister vacuum and wiped the bathroom counter, toilet, and sprayed out the shower and tub a couple times. I can push the shark steam mop but it causes intense electrical feeling shooting pains after about 10 minutes. When I stand for extended periods of time my lower back begins to ache and burn like fire and I can feel the weight of all the metal. Then I look at or feel the bump and it freaks me out. Best to take it very slow. Let Kevin handle things. Just relax and work in bed.
I have to share this because anyone considering a major spinal fusion for Scoliosis or multiple discs needs to know that the good vastly outweighs the bad. As long as you have researched your surgeon and they know what they are doing and you feel comfortable with them and their procedure. The finished product, IF you do everything you are ordered to by your surgeon, is amazing.
We took before surgery pictures and my surgeon wants to take afters and asked to show them to potential patients as a success story. Big pat on the shoulder for me. I'm the best at everything even when I'm not trying. That's not totally truthful. Pre-op I had gone into a crazed workout mode where I toned every inch of my body. I went into this and I kept saying things like, "I'll only be in the hospital 5 days, going to make a record!" (For the record Dr. Moreno said he thought I could get out of there in 5 days, we didn't anticipate the complications) Not! I was there almost 10 days and in the ICU almost 5 and neurological/brain trauma Critical Care the remainder. Can't win em all. I was up walking the very next day though, even with EXTREME distention and pain I walked further than any other patients did.
The turning point of this entire thing happened a couple evenings ago. I went into the kitchen to put my glass in the sink and I could see my reflection in the kitchen window. I stood for a minute looking at myself and realized my shoulders are totally straight and the v-neck of my nightgown is laying in the middle of my chest. I haven't had that since I was a very little girl. My v-neck always pulled to the right and up a tiny bit because of the unevenness of my shoulders. My bras and bathing suits had to be constantly adjusted and never fit right. I had to get things altered it was so inconvenient and depressing.
I waddle shuffle hobble limp walked into the living room to tell Kevin. I looked at myself in the mirror above him and when I started to talk I began to cry. Tears of happiness from the sheer fact that I'm working my way down the other side of the mountain just started to pour out of my eyes. He jumped up and hugged me and got a little emotional too and told me how happy he was to see me really healing so quickly and on my way to being pain free. The relief and the reward of having my body made into what it was intended to be is just an astounding added bonus.
Week to week I am having drastic improvements. It's easier for me to squat and kneel to get down to the ground. I can stay down longer. It's easier for me to get back up. I can bend forward about 4 inches now where before I couldn't even tilt my head down. I can reach quickly to the right and the left and before I could not really move my arms to either side or reach at all. I can stand almost completely straight up. I have sat in the living room twice in the last couple days for more than 30 minutes! That is a big deal! We went to Sushi one evening. We went to the mall once to get my hair washed and blown out, some new underwear for my swollen Terminator lower back (we find out tomorrow if that goes away, lets cross our fingers!), and of course my own personal crack...Yankee Candle. I had to get a motorized wheelchair though. I still have to ride one at the grocery store as well. Three grocery store trips under my belt. Oh and of course the fun drive I have to put myself through to take Kevin through the drama his ex has drug everyone through. Plant City, Tampa frequently, and meeting the wicked witch Downtown. That's okay, there's nothing I wouldn't do for Kevin and his son.
I am able to stand in the shower for almost 15 minutes, but I still can't shave the outer-side of my legs. Kevin has to do that AND style my hair curly, which he did a phenomenal job of I must say. I'll post pictures of everything to make sense out of it.
I go see Dr. Moreno again tomorrow morning and we have a two page list of questions for him. I get the exact measurements for my new spine, pictures that will be posted, an assessment of my progress and pain, and the hopeful go ahead to begin physical therapy. I have cut my meds in half. I do not wake up in the evening to take pain meds. The morning is very difficult because of it, but I am getting stronger. I may have to gain 5-10 pounds to compensate for my new height, but that's okay because I AM TALLER NOW WOOOO!! Anyone in my position, or similar, understands.
I always said my growth was stunted. We didn't really realize until I finally was able to stand to hug Kevin in the kitchen and we stopped and he said, "Wow. I think you really are taller. You used to be down here." A couple inches shorter at the bottom of his chin. Now, I am able to kiss him without needing to tip-e-toe. We also judged it by standing next to Heidi and my Mom because we knew what that felt like. I can't wait to shop and buy new bras and bathing suits. My dresses look better, my nightgowns look better, everything.
The pain is finally noticeably lessening and I am beginning to feel a slight bit of relief. I have been working a lot more. Again, I couldn't be luckier to have such an amazing boyfriend and an equally understanding and supportive boss. The fact that my office is 4 miles from my house makes everything much easier. Emergencies and seeing my boss or his parents, the big bosses, at the last minute and Kevin picking up and dropping off deposits, accounts payable, leases and other paperwork for me weekly to enter from my home system my boss set up for me. When I was, and will be up and moving around again, showings were always very easy to plan because I was never more than 13 miles from any property or tenant at any time as long as I am at the office or my home. I am so lucky to have found this position and if not for this career I would not have been able to have my surgery as successfully with this surgeon at such a great hospital without a ridiculous unreasonable, and heck honestly un-rational cost to me.
He will never understand how grateful I am. I try to show him through working harder at all hours possible. I get him appropriate gifts during holidays. I tell him at least once every couple weeks thanks you and each time our health insurance premiums are due, I thank him again.
I am so glad to be really making improvements and starting to feel less robotic. I can't wait to see Dr. Moreno and get a real update on my progress and start a new physical therapy routine. He is my savior and hero. I know that sounds mushy and ridiculous, but he is the most amazing surgeon I have ever met. And I've met quite a few. Will update tomorrow with the hopefully good news and photos! Wish me luck!
Inspirational thought of the evening, "Have faith in your own abilities, do not just wish for a thing, take action and get it." ~ C Pulsifer
Always With Karma,
Amanda
