Only 3 More Days

I only have three viable days left until my surgery. So many things are going on right now and I'm really starting to get scared, nervous, petrified is probably a better description. I've been thinking about the little things that I'm going to miss. Any and all personal hygienic/cosmetic personal maintenance is over. For example taking a shower, brushing my hair, washing my face, putting on makeup, doing my nails, plucking my eyebrows, putting on moisturizer, the list is endless. Then I start thinking about the major things I'm not going to be able to do. Work, maintain my home, cuddle in bed with Kevin, play with Dominic, walk normally, move my arms freely, exercise, feed myself, drive, ride in a car, go to a theme park for a year (which is big for me lol), go to anyone's birthday/events between now and probably May at the earliest (if I heal quickly, crossing my fingers). The list is endless.

Being dependent on friends, family, and mainly Kevin drives me insane. The loss of my independence and the ability to care for myself is very frustrating.There isn't much to do about it at this point other than jump in head first and get it over with. I can't believe this is actually here. I have never been so excited and scared at the same time in my entire life. As long as I wake up without complications I know I will get through it. I might bitch and moan and have a few diva moments, but I think I'll be deserving of that since my level of pain is going to be something most people will never experience in their life. Dr. Moreno is doing 13 discs. My T-3 to my L-4. Basically my entire spine other than my Cervical vertebrae and one disc in my Lumbar. Whoa. 

Here goes......